Why Your Brain Won’t Turn Off—and How to Gently Take Back Control

You know those nights when your body is exhausted, but your brain is doing laps like it's training for a marathon?

One minute you're trying to relax… next thing you know, you're replaying a conversation from five days ago, planning for next week, wondering if that thing you said in 7th grade still matters, and mentally writing a grocery list you’ll forget by morning.

If your brain feels like it's stuck in overdrive—even when you want it to slow down—you’re not broken. You’re human. And that overthinking? It’s not a character flaw. It’s your nervous system’s way of trying to protect you.

What’s Really Going On in Your Brain?

Anxiety loves to overthink. It spins stories, replays fears, and imagines worst-case scenarios because it wants to keep you safe.

Your brain has something called a “negativity bias” — a natural tendency to notice threats more than calm. This bias helped our ancestors survive wild animals and danger… but today, your brain sees “threats” in unanswered texts, mistakes at work, or what your boss’s tone might have meant.

Add in stress, trauma, overstimulation, lack of sleep, or unresolved emotions — and boom. You've got the perfect storm for racing thoughts and mental spiraling.

What Mental Spirals Feel Like:

• You replay the same conversation or scenario again and again

• You try to plan for every possible outcome… but feel stuck doing anything

• You struggle to focus because your thoughts are bouncing around

• You obsess over something small, even though you know it's not a big deal

• You can’t sleep because your brain won’t “shut off”

If this sounds like you, know this: you're not weak. You’re overstimulated. And your brain is begging for safety.

How to Gently Take Back Control

Let’s not fight your thoughts—we’ll soothe them. Jade style.

1. Name What’s Happening

Start with something simple and grounding:

“I notice my brain is spinning right now. I’m not in danger—I’m just overwhelmed.”

When you label what’s going on (“this is a thought spiral”), you activate your thinking brain (the prefrontal cortex) and soften your reactive brain (the amygdala). This is the first step in regaining control.

2. Get Out of Your Head and Into the Room

Overthinking keeps you floating in “what-ifs.” Grounding brings you back to the present.

Try this quick exercise (Jade calls it the 5-4-3-2-1 Calm Down Check):

• 5 things you can see

• 4 things you can touch

• 3 things you can hear

• 2 things you can smell

• 1 thing you can taste or are grateful for

You can do this anywhere — in bed, in the car, at work. You don’t have to “clear your mind.” Just gently return to now.

3. Talk Back to the Spiral

Anxiety thrives when we don’t talk back. So… let’s talk back, kindly.

“I hear you, fear. But this is not an emergency.”

“I’ve done the best I could — and that’s enough right now.”

“Even if things don’t go perfectly, I can handle them.”

This is called cognitive restructuring — challenging anxious thoughts by bringing in gentle, believable truths.

4. Choose One Simple Action

When you can’t think your way out… move your way out. Action anchors you in the present.

Ideas:

• Take a walk outside and name 3 things you notice

• Drink a glass of cold water

• Light a candle and breathe in for 4, out for 6

• Write your top 3 worries and then rip the paper up

The goal isn’t to “fix everything”—it’s to remind your brain that you are safe and in control.

Let Me Just Say

Overthinking is your brain’s way of trying to protect you from pain. But you don’t have to let it run the show. You can pause. You can soften. You can take your power back — not by force, but by grace.

You don’t need to fix every thought. Just anchor yourself to one truth:

“I’m allowed to rest, even when my brain is busy.”

Want Support?

If anxiety has been living in your chest lately — whispering fear, stealing sleep, or leaving you emotionally drained — our Anxiety Reset Group might be the gentle support you need.

Meet others who understand, learn science-based tools, and create space to exhale. One week at a time.

—Jade

Learn more about the Anxiety Reset Group »