Things No One Talks About With High-Functioning Anxiety

Welcome to the first installment of our new blog series, "Things No One Talks About," with me, Jade, your guide here at My Reset Lab. If you’re new here, think of me as that wise friend who knows when to listen, when to ask the hard questions, and when to hand you the emotional toolkit you didn’t even know you needed. Today, we’re diving deep into High-Functioning Anxiety — a topic that deserves more honesty, compassion, and visibility.

What Is High-Functioning Anxiety?

Most people think of anxiety as visible distress: panic attacks, fidgeting, avoidance. But High-Functioning Anxiety (HFA) looks different. It hides behind productivity, perfectionism, and smiles. It’s the colleague who always meets deadlines but feels like they’re falling apart inside. It’s the parent who juggles tasks seamlessly but can’t quiet the worry when the house finally gets quiet. It’s the friend who always plans the party but mentally replays every conversation afterward, wondering if they said the wrong thing.

By clinical standards, HFA isn’t a formal diagnosis. It’s a term used to describe people who experience chronic anxiety but remain outwardly successful. They often don’t meet the stereotype of someone “struggling,” which is why their anxiety often goes unnoticed—by others and sometimes even themselves.

What No One Talks About

1. The Exhaustion is Constant

People with HFA often live in a state of chronic tension. Their minds are always scanning for what could go wrong, what needs to be done, or what might fall apart if they let their guard down. This mental hypervigilance translates into physical exhaustion. Yet, because they appear successful, people assume they “have it all together.” Inside, though, many are running on fumes.

2. The Fear of Being Found Out

There’s a nagging fear underneath high-functioning anxiety: that eventually, someone will figure out you’re not actually coping as well as it seems. This is often referred to as imposter syndrome, and it’s amplified by the anxiety of maintaining appearances. The fear of being exposed keeps people in a cycle of overworking, overcommitting, and overthinking.

3. Success Feels Hollow

Achievements rarely bring relief. Instead of feeling proud, someone with HFA often feels, "What's next?" The mind moves immediately to the next task or potential failure. Joy is fleeting, because the underlying anxiety isn't about the tasks themselves—it's about the relentless sense of not being "enough."

4. Rest Feels Uncomfortable

Even downtime isn’t truly restful. When people with HFA try to relax, the brain often floods with guilt ("I should be doing something productive") or intrusive thoughts about unfinished tasks. This inability to switch off is why many develop issues with sleep, concentration, and even physical health over time.

5. Relationships Can Suffer Quietly

High-functioning anxiety often leads to overthinking social interactions, replaying conversations, or imagining worst-case scenarios about relationships. This can lead to emotional withdrawal, even from loved ones, because the mental load is already so overwhelming. And yet, the person may still show up, perform, and smile—all while feeling disconnected inside.

The Psychological and Physical Toll

Although HFA can be masked, it takes a toll on both mental and physical health. Prolonged anxiety is linked to:

• Increased risk of cardiovascular issues (Chalmers et al., 2014)

• Higher levels of inflammation in the body (O'Donovan et al., 2010)

• Difficulty with memory and concentration

• Greater likelihood of developing depression alongside anxiety

Chronic stress keeps the body in a state of fight-or-flight, flooding it with cortisol and adrenaline. Over time, this can result in burnout, chronic fatigue, digestive issues, and even autoimmune disorders.

Why It’s So Hard to Ask for Help

People with HFA often hesitate to seek help because:

• They feel their struggles aren't "bad enough"

• They worry therapy will make them confront feelings they’ve carefully avoided

• They fear being perceived as weak or incapable

Yet, seeking help is a sign of strength and self-awareness. Therapy, support groups, and educational resources can provide strategies for recognizing thought patterns, setting boundaries, and cultivating self-compassion.

Jade's Reset Tips for High-Functioning Anxiety

Let me share a few things I always suggest to those of us walking around with hidden anxiety dressed up as achievement:

1. Mindfulness and Grounding Techniques: Practices like mindful breathing, body scans, and grounding exercises can help reduce the physical symptoms of anxiety.

2. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT helps identify and reframe cognitive distortions, like catastrophizing or all-or-nothing thinking, that fuel anxiety.

3. Setting Boundaries: Learning to say "no" and understanding your limits can prevent the cycle of overcommitting.

4. Emotion Journaling: Tracking your emotional patterns can reveal triggers and help you create more effective coping strategies.

5. Support Groups: Talking to others who experience high-functioning anxiety can reduce feelings of isolation and provide practical tips for management.

Why We Created My Reset Lab

At My Reset Lab, we recognize that many people battling high-functioning anxiety don’t feel seen. That’s why we built this space—so no one has to navigate their mental and emotional well-being alone. Our courses and support groups are designed to meet you where you are—whether you’re starting to explore your emotional patterns, or you’re ready to build new tools for coping and thriving.

Our Anxiety Reset Support Group is a dedicated space where you can connect with others who understand the unique pressures of living with HFA. Plus, our self-paced courses like Emotions 101 and Calm Your Inner Critic offer step-by-step guides to building emotional awareness and developing healthier self-talk.

You Deserve to Feel Better

You don’t have to wait until things fall apart to get help. High-functioning anxiety is real, it’s valid, and it deserves attention. If any part of this post resonated with you, consider taking the next step—whether that’s joining a support group, enrolling in a course, or simply starting an honest conversation with someone you trust.

Your productivity doesn’t define your worth. And your peace of mind is just as important as any achievement.

With you every step of the way,

Jade | My Reset Lab

Ready to reset? Explore our Anxiety Reset Support Group and self-paced courses here. Let’s build healthier habits, together.

References:

• Chalmers, J. A., Quintana, D. S., Abbott, M. J. A., & Kemp, A. H. (2014). Anxiety Disorders are Associated with Reduced Heart Rate Variability: A Meta-Analysis. Frontiers in Psychiatry.

• O'Donovan, A., Hughes, B. M., Slavich, G. M., Lynch, L., & Cronin, M. T. (2010). Clinical anxiety, cortisol and interleukin-6: evidence for specificity in emotion-biology relationships. Brain, Behavior, and Immunity.